My mom hated bingo. I guess because she was from Europe, didn’t have command of the English language and thought it was a difficult game to learn.
Recently, my friend Shirley and I went to the VFW Hall in Pentwater, Michigan to play bingo. Was it plain and simple? Hahaha. No.
On entering, women were frantically digging in a huge vat of thick, hard bingo cards. Protective gear and a helmet would have helped as cards were hurled in every direction. What were they doing? We found out they were looking for the lowest numbers under the “B” column; numbers 19 through 29 under the “I” column…and on it went. Since I couldn’t take notes and I’m not Rain Man, I let my mild OCD take over and selected the cleanest and newest cards. We each picked six cards and later realized we failed the number one rule of bingo…never play more bingo cards than you can handle,
Walking towards the cashier, we witnessed several good luck charms prominently displayed above the player’s cards. These “Bingo Shrines” included trolls, figurines, coins, and, quite possibly, badger teeth. I assume these lucky charms are just in reach, ready to be patted, kissed or turned away in disgrace.
The cashier asked if we needed “dabbers”. Did he mean “daubers”? We brought “dabbers”, but needed tiddlywinks. Oh! Did he mean “markers”?
Next stop. Find a seat. It appeared the early birds were already in their lucky seats, because if you took the chair Esther, Gertrude or Mildred has sat in for the past 10 years, you just may start a riot.
Settled in, we headed for the food counter run by the Ladies Auxiliary. We both opted for the hot dog platter, coffee, bottled water and a huge fruit bowl. We each pull out a $5 bill. The tab comes to $5.75. We start digging for the 75 cents, when the lunch lady says “that’s all together”. Yippee! Shirley and I both ate for $5.75.
Wheel chairs were locked and ready for the games to begin!
We quickly learned we were not playing the bingo we learned as kids. This was designer, speed bingo. First game was the pattern “X”. Shirley and I scrambled to keep up and giggles were bubbling up into full fits of laughter. We had no idea that once the game starts, it’s eyes down and all talking stops.
We witnessed the crowd heckle the caller when he called an “N” number during the “X” game. We heard bellows of “No Ns!!” or “Change the caller!” or “Everybody hates you!”
These players are all business. They can eat a ground bologna sandwich and double-fist their dabbers at the same time. They’re so serious it seems they’re playing for their crack money.
Maybe to stop our laughter, frenetic cries or panicky, hysterical arm movements, a kind lady handed us notes—four pages! We thanked her and decided we’d study them later then tried to get a grip.
Someone waved their arms and called “BINGO!” with gusto. I now know where the term “bingo wings” comes from.
A murmur starts and the floor workers start walking faster. The win is confirmed and the losers clear their cards. (We must find those colorful markers rimmed in metal and the magic, magnetic wand that collects them with a quick swipe).
It was then my turn. My heart raced. I needed just one more number to win. I look at the monitor displaying the winning bingo ball and with a huge amount of satisfaction, I yell “BINGO!” The room instantly became a Frankenstein mob with pitchforks and torches. Apparently, I broke rule number two: “Jumping the Gun”. Monitors are not official. A bingo is not valid until the number is called.
The game continued as if nothing happened and my winning number was called. So I screamed “BINGO!” (again). There were loud groans, black looks and possibly a public shunning as the floor worker confirmed my dabbed numbers. I won $20 but was given $19 as a dollar is always passed to the player on my left (Shirley) for good luck.
Four hours later, Shirley called BINGO! on the last coverall game and shared the $75 winnings with two other winners. Our winnings paid for our cards and dinner. Fist Pump.
Will we do it again? Maybe. Even if it feels like “BINGO!” is always called right before you’re going to win.
Hilarious!! Sounds like a lot of fun!!
It was fun! (and a bit scary lol)
Loved this!!!!
thank you!