I was a late bloomer. I didn’t begin driving until I was 23 years old. I probably never would have started driving, but when my son was born, everyone insisted I absolutely had to have a driver’s license “in case of an emergency”. Starting so late, I didn’t go through the stages that very young people go through: that “fearlessness”, that “adventurousness”. Later, my job required a lot of driving – all over the country.

Over the years I got better, but I was always a scaredy-cat. I drove defensively and kissed the ground whenever I reached my destination – including the local grocery store.

Now, as I am getting older, I’ve reverted to being an “old lady” driver. I’m becoming an old lady passenger, too. Even short trips cause anxiety.

My vision has gotten poorer. My reflexes are slower. My night vision became non-existent. My depth perception left the building with Elvis. The result? Driving in rush hour traffic through downtown Chicago is no longer an option for me. Heck, rush hour traffic in Monroe, Michigan is no longer an option.

I had three choices:

1. Stay home for my remaining (hopefully) 32 years. Maybe adopt a few dozen cats.
2. Find a young driver that wanted to spend all of their free time traveling with a 60+ year old couple.
3. Find a way to deal with it.

Being a dog person who had a lot more to see and experience, I chose option 2. To my surprise, it was more difficult than I anticipated. All of the 17-24 year olds I knew had school, jobs, new families – well, lives!

That left me with option 3. Unfortunately, just “dealing with it” wasn’t working. As we drove through construction, inclement weather and on highways exceeding 2 lanes with rockets speeding by while weaving in and out of the lanes, my heart would race as if I had drunk 9 Red Bulls. My ankles hurt from constant braking (and I was the passenger) and I had to constantly stifle screams.

The only viable solution was to exit the highway and find an alternate route – without getting lost.

Now I realize most people are thinking that this is easy. You have to know that I do not have a cell phone; nor a GPS. I use old-fashioned paper maps. With that in mind, the 99.98854% of you that have cell phones and GPS can stop reading here. You’ll do fine. The rest of you, read on!

Here are a few tricks to not getting lost if you’re driving in (most of) America.  Maybe everyone knows this, but for me they were epiphanies. These do not work everywhere (I know that in New Jersey and New York, it didn’t work.) but so far, they’ve gotten me home every time.

1. Highways that are even numbered run East/West. Highways that are odd numbered run North/South. It’s easy to remember: East/wEst have “E’s” so are Even. nOrth/sOuth have “O’s” so are odd.

2. Mile markers begin in the South and West (I just always remember the Southwest) with 0 or 1. The numbers will increase as you go North or East and they start over at a state line.

3. Interstates have “loops” around major cities that are big circles. Generally, the interstate does not dissect the “circle” right down the middle, so there is a short side and a long side. If you’re driving straight through the city, you take the shorter route regardless of the direction you are going.

So, how does this help?

• If you find yourself on Highway 73, you know you are either traveling nOrth or sOuth because it is an Odd numbered highway. If the first mile marker is 262 and the next mile marker is 263, you now know you are driving north because the mile markers increased (remember, mile markers start in the South and West).
• In most states, exit numbers correspond to mile markers. Therefore, if at mile marker 172 a sign says your destination is in 72 miles, you know you’ll probably be taking either exit 100 (traveling south or west) or exit 244 (traveling north or east).
• If you take a “loop” around a major city, it’s a big circle so you can take either side. Just know one side is likely shorter. Look at this example:

I65 (represented by the orange line) runs through Indianapolis. The “loop” I465 (represented by the green line) is a circle around the outskirts of Indianapolis. I65 does not run directly through the middle of the circle. The section of I465 to the left, or East, of I65 is much shorter than the section of I465 to the right, or West, of I65. Both sections of I465 will take you to the other side of Indianapolis, but the East section will save you time, whether you are traveling north or south.

So let the young people live their lives. Forego the cats for a few more years. Take a road trip. If you come to a 9 lane highway with construction cones and 8,000 red tail lights, exit without fear of getting lost.

Just use common sense. And if you have none, invest in a GPS. I recommend the one with an Australian man that tells you what to do.