This past week marked three years since Mom’s death. I miss her and have been thinking about her quite a bit. She lived a tough life and saw things that no human should. I wish she hadn’t had those experiences, but those experiences shaped her into the person she became.

This isn’t a sappy tribute or a woe-is-me post. It’s about a movie that made me think about her and the lessons she taught me, in the least traditional way.

The movie I’m referring to is “St. Vincent”. A wonderful movie, that brought parallels between Vincent, the main character and my mother. Not that she gambled or drank like a fish, or had a prostitute visit her weekly, (and the only time she used God’s name in vain was “God Bless America”). No, she did none of these things. But she was loud, opinionated and dramatic. So, when Vincent stated “No point in yapping if nobody’s listening” and “Can’t get nothing in this life without being heard”, it occurred to me that Mom being garish and opinionated had a purpose. Although I was embarrassed at times, I realized that she was sticking up for herself, perhaps because no one else did…”You need to defend yourself or you get mowed down”.

She and Vincent had labels put on them that described just a tiny slice of who they were. There’s a lot more to Vincent and Mom than meets the eye. With that said, I was reminded that we are much more than just our vices or flawed personality traits.

Vincent fed his cat gourmet  cat food while he ate sardines; Mom wouldn’t eat until her children and husband had eaten. Sacrifice.

They both put aside their own troubles if someone else had problems. Hope.

Both had war wounds, became hardened and beaten down in life. Vincent served in Vietnam; Mom was in the throes of WWII. She was just 15 years old in Dresden during the massive bombing. Yet, they both survived and made a life for themselves. Courage.

I wish Mom knew how lucky she was! Those special few that could see beyond her opinions, broken English and boisterous conversation were, indeed, lucky.